


Hide and Seek, Says the Wind

by katilara



Category: Cain Saga and Godchild
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-25
Updated: 2011-06-25
Packaged: 2017-10-20 17:13:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/215118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katilara/pseuds/katilara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cain doesn't regret, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hide and Seek, Says the Wind

_Hide and seek, says the wind  
In the shade of the woods;  
Hide and seek, says the moon  
To the hazel buds. _

Cain leaned against the ornate stone mantle of the fireplace like a coat hung on a rack and gazed out at the room over the lip of his wine glass. Parties had never maintained his attention of their own merit, but lately he had found it even harder to concentrate on the maddening gossip around him. His mind wandered and his eyes scanned the room. He knew that Riff was somewhere close by, but wouldn't be associating with the guests. He was probably downstairs, collecting his own sort of gossip from the help. The information Riff seemed to come up with was always more true and pertained to more important matters than his. Though, he did make a mental note that the Baron of Luxor often snubbed his wife for young men. That bit of information could come in particularly handy.

"Excuse me, Lord Cain."

His eyes snapped back and landed on the Lady Ariana Mims. He hadn't spoken to her in seven years, but he was glad that she had taken the bait so easily, still as infatuated with him now as she had been then. As a girl she had been lithe and tomboyish, but as a woman she had truly come into her own. Cain smiled. "Lady Mims," he said smoothly, and took her hand with his free one, ducking his head to kiss it.

"You flatter me with your remembrance Lord Cain. What has it been? Ten years?"

"Only seven, my lady, though I'm sure you know to the day. I was surprised to receive an invitation for this evening, though. It's been quite some time since we played hide and seek. If we haven't spoken for so long, surely you don't count me among your suitors."

She let her eyes move up and down him appreciatively before pouting her lips. "You would not be a suitor of mine, dear Cain? But you did bring me a gift, did you not?"

"It would have been incredibly rude of me to take advantage of an old friend's hospitality without having something to offer." He pushed away from the mantle and stood straight. She took a step back and he walked around her, drawing her to the side of the fireplace.

She stood between him and the stone and fingered her own glass nervously. Her eyes traveled the room for a moment, but then returned to him. "I hear, my Lord, that you have a great many things to offer. Much more than the field flowers and insects from our youth."

He leaned into her personal space so that her propriety backed her into the corner where the fireplace met the wall. Her smell was wrong. It was lavender and some supposedly non-scented soap that actually smelled like lard and powder. Nothing in the room held the hint of almond from arsenic on a lapel or wormwood from absinthe spilled on a sleeve that he was accustomed to. He looked at her, and felt suddenly very alone. "But you are still the master of hiding, are you not?"

He took another step towards her; his knee brushed hers through the heavy skirts of her dress as he pressed his free hand to the wall over her shoulder. She smiled then; all of her propriety fell away. "Would you like something else to drink, Lord Cain?"

It had been exactly what he had hoped would happen, and because it had, something was very wrong.

…

Cain opened the door to the mansion to find Riff standing and holding his arm out to take Cain's coat. It was as if he'd been standing there all day, waiting for Cain. Cain wondered how Riff could spend all of his time waiting on him, and still manage to keep the house in order. There didn't ever seem to be enough time for the two of them and their double lives. Cain could feel the strain of it as it pulled at him. It caused his mind to wander at parties and bags to form under his eyes. He envied Riff and his calm, quiet ability to just wait.

"Riff, there's been another murder. The lady Dubberly awoke in her bed this morning and her husband next to her was cold when he had not been the night before. Her son, William, is also missing. I haven't had a chance to inspect the body, but I suspect its poison like the others."

"Yes, sir," said Riff. He took Cain's coat and cane and busied himself with putting them away as Cain paced the foyer in his shirtsleeves. "Would sir like to get ready for his event this evening? If he hurries he can be just fashionably late."

"Riff, aren't you listening? We have plans to make and poisons to study, but first we have to obtain the body." He enumerated his plans on his fingers as he crossed back and forth. Riff followed after Cain and undid his cuff links and watch chain in an attempt to hurry the process along.

"It may interest sir to know, that the only visitor to the Dubberly estate yesterday evening not admitted or waited upon by the household staff was young Ariana Mims. And she was greeted by William in the garden."

Cain stopped pacing and looked at Riff, who took the opportunity to start undoing Cain's cravat. "Riff, why didn't you say something earlier?"

"Please sir, we have to get you into suitable clothing. The young Ms. Mims is an honored guest this evening and is keenly interested in receiving you. And you know how young women hate to be kept waiting."

Cain ducked away from Riff's hands and shot up the stairs. "Hurry Riff, and go to the basement and retrieve the basalt box. No doubt the lady will be expecting a present!"

…

Cain arrived at the Mims estate just in time to be the last gentleman ushered into the receiving line. It had been a long time since he'd been here, since the tragedy. After Ariana's brother had been found dead, Alexis had forbidden Cain to visit the Mims family. Rather ironically, he had said it was because he wanted to keep his son safe. Cain tried to swallow down the memory and managed a small smirk just as he reached the front of the line.  
Ariana looked up at him, surprised. "Why, Lord Cain!"

"I was invited, was I not lady? I can leave if you like, but first," he dropped to one knee so that he was at eye level with Ariana, "please take this."

Ariana received his gift without opening it. "Such an interesting box from the Lord, though I shouldn't have expected anything else from you. And heavy. I wonder what is inside." She pursed her lips and watched him as she shook the box lightly near her ear. When no sound escaped, her eyes lit up. "Such a crafty box as well. It's an honor."

"The honor is mine," Cain said, and stood up. "Now, I shall be on then, and let you enjoy your party. Feel free to find me, should you want anything more."

A smile curled the edges of her mouth and her eyes narrowed slightly in sport. "There has never been someone I couldn't find, Cain. Unlike you."

Cain bowed deeply to hide the guilt in his eyes, and then made his way toward the center of the room to lose himself amongst the idle aristocracy. He lifted a glass of wine from a passing tray and held it to his nose. The smells of oak and berries and something slightly nutty and familiar bit at his nostrils. He didn't keep an eye on her, he didn’t have to. He could feel her eyes on him the entire time.

…

"What else have you managed to hear, Riff?" Cain asked. Riff bent down to tie Cain’s shoes and inspect the hem of his pants.

"The lady Mims is being actively courted by about twenty men. It has become a custom to bring her a gift to show your interest and to gain favor. She accepts these, but they are never opened. The only man she is ever seen with is William, and he is always welcomed in private. About a month ago her suitors began dying in their sleep. All of the bodies were found fully clothed from the day, and carefully arranged. Except for Lord Dubberly of course, who was not a suitor, and was in night dress. But, I still suspect they're connected."

Cain scratched at his chin and looked out the window. So many young men in and out of the Mims estate must have been trying for Ariana’s parents, after the death of their son seven years prior. The boy would have been just about fourteen now, no doubt properly groomed and very handsome.

It had been an accident, entirely; one that Cain still had nightmares about on occasion. Ariana, who had been a master at hiding, had told her brother the location of her favorite hiding place. Cain hadn't had time to find him before he was called inside to return home, but he left anyway, assuming that Ariana would find her brother in his absence. The boy wasn't found until three weeks later, dead and in another location. Alexis had used this as further proof that Cain was evil. The beatings were something he had grown accustomed to by then, but to have a face to attach to the guilt had been too much.

Cain didn't like to think about loss, but that particular nightmare always brought it to the forefront of his mind. It left him aching, and sent him on another search for wherever Riff was. In the dark he feared losing Riff in a similar manner. In the dark he feared too, that he would push Riff away.

"Riff, the light is fading." He meant the light in his mind that drove away those thoughts when he had them. The one that held his interest to poisons and women and never let him settle into melancholy. The one that inspected Riff even as Riff was inspecting him.

Riff ignored the turn in Cain's voice. "You are almost always expected to be late these days, sir," Riff said. He stood and took a step back, holding out his hand to help Cain out of the chair. Cain was sure Riff hadn't misunderstood him, but he silently reached out and gripped the familiar, strong hand without a reply. Riff understood everything. "Now sir, if you'll please."

…

 _Hide and seek, says the cloud,  
Star on to star;  
Hide and seek, says the wave  
At the harbour bar._

Ariana tugged at Cain's wrist as she led him into the guest room at the Mims estate that was furthest away from the sounds of the party. "Won't you be missed?" he asked, as she closed the door behind them. He heard the faint click of the lock.

"It is my party, Cain, I can do what I want." She walked toward him in the darkness. Her smell preceded her and made his head feel heavy. She placed her hands flat on his chest and walked him gently backwards until his knees caught the edge of the bed and he sat down on it, heavily.

"Who are you hiding from these days, Ariana? Is it your memories?" Her eyes flashed and her seductive smile slipped, but she recovered quickly, and in the dark Cain couldn't be sure of what he'd seen.

"You would know all about that, wouldn't you? Dear, sweet Cain. You never did find him did you? It was your fault, after all, that I didn't have a brother anymore."

"Ariana, that's-" but he didn't finish his thought. Her lips were on his then and her hands were working their way inside of his coat. They were small hands, with sharp nails, and she was very attractive, but she was wrong. Cain tried to imagine larger, more protective hands, and moaned softly into her mouth. She took this as a signal and slipped her tongue through his lips. He felt something small fall against his teeth. She pulled away and pushed him down onto the bed. The force of his fall caused him to bite down, and a small amount of bitter fluid exploded into his mouth.

"Shh…" she said. She lay across him on the bed. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she buried her face into his shoulder. "I'm sorry, but I have to. You are the only one who could find me out."

He tried to struggle, to push her away, but his limbs now felt as heavy as his head and she was rubbing against him, weakening even his resolve. She breathed in deeply. "You smell just like you did then."

He could feel himself slipping away, and through the darkness he felt her lips on his again. There was no ulterior motive this time but her passion, and it was still wrong. His last thought was that he hoped Riff would be able to find him with the antidote.

…

When Cain came to, he was curled up in a large chair in a darkened, but not unoccupied sitting room. Riff squeezed his shoulder lightly and he looked to the side where the curtains were moving in an irregular way that had nothing to do with wind. He watched in silence until the curtain giggled.

"Please do be careful back there sir," he called. He willed the strength that his limbs couldn't feel into his voice. "She has a habit of…losing young men."

There was a pair of gasps, a small argument between a male voice and a female one, and then the curtain was ripped aside. Ariana stood in front of William Dubberly, her fists clenched and her eyebrows drawn. William, for his part, looked like a fish torn from a lake and thrown into a garden. His thin lips worked soundlessly.

"You should be dead," she stamped her foot and her slipper made a loud slap against the floor.

"I have a constitution that's naturally resistant to dying, it seems," he replied. He struggled with his arms and inelegantly steepled his fingers in front of his face. "I understand that you would want me dead. After all, you’re starting to build a name for yourself in society, and a breath of that rumour could damage you beyond repair. But what about the other young men who don't even know you ever had a brother? What of William's father?"

Ariana smiled slowly and took a step forward. "The young men were to draw you out. There isn't a person of status in London that doesn't know you're the Earl of Poisons. A rash of deaths is something you can't resist, is it not?"

Cain sighed and looked over her shoulder at William, who had become solemn. His jaw was set and he placed a hand on her shoulder to keep her back. "Amateurs should not try to devise plans. It would have been so much easier just to come for me, would it not? Then you wouldn't have even had to show your face. But maybe, you needed me to see you? Would your conscience be clear if you had slept with me before my untimely death? Do you wish you had given your brother a parting gift?" Cain watched her with heavy eyes.

Ariana pulled away from William's grasp and stalked across the room. She pulled her arm back to slap Cain, but Riff caught her wrist. When she couldn't shake him off she stopped struggling and dropped to her knees. "It's my fault," she sobbed.

Cain nodded at Riff and he let go of her wrist, allowing her to drop further down.

"I was angry with him, because you paid more attention to him than to me. And because I loved him so much and he seemed to be incapable of treating me with the respect a sister deserves."

"Ariana," Cain said softly, "he was seven. No seven-year-old boy treats anything with respect. You, on the other hand, have committed the far larger sin of having no respect for life at all.” He looked up at William and tried to mask the pity he was sure was in his eyes. “You there, what did she tell you, so that she could kill your father? Did she tell you she loved you?"

William crossed the room slowly and dropped to his knees next to Ariana. They looked like servants bowing to their Lord, but Cain couldn't draw any satisfaction from it. His strength was returning too slowly. He looked over them at Riff and just wanted to wrap himself in the other man's jacket, to feel the comfort of not being alone in the sea of animosity and darkness. His eyes slipped closed for a moment.

William cleared his throat, which caused Cain's eyes to snap back open, and then spoke up. "You know nothing of what she's been through! Just because you're a Hargreaves doesn't make you a god. How dare _you_ of all people pass judgment." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tighter. She continued to sob piteously. Cain was growing bored.

"You are fit to pass judgment then? Is that what happened to your father?" William swallowed hard and looked up at Cain, but didn't release his grip on Ariana. "Childhood games have to end sometime, Ariana. The more you know, the more sinister the nursery rhyme becomes. Riff."

Ariana stilled and watched the manservant help his master out of the chair and then let Cain lean into him as they slowly left the room. "You know that lesson well, don't you?" she said quietly.

Riff paused and Cain said, "There's no one better to teach, than one who knows." William and Ariana stayed where they were as Riff helped Cain back to the carriage.

…

 _Hide and seek, say I  
To myself, and step  
Out of the dream of wake  
Into the dream of sleep._

He draped himself over the edge of the tub and allowed Riff to wash his back. Every brush of skin against skin sent a small shock through him and reminded him of the heavy feeling still in his legs and the smell of Ariana pressed against him. He couldn't reconcile how, with that woman on him, he only wanted Riff's scent, but with Riff here, he remembered her.

"I wonder if he suffered." Cain grasped at the tub as Riff's finger pads lightly brushed over his scars. His knuckles were turning white.

"How long was he missing sir?"

"Three weeks, before they found him. But I know that he wasn't found where he had originally hid. I think she moved him later, to make it look like an accident.

"He was most likely delirious before he went into shock, but in no real pain. Nothing like you've had."

"Maybe it's better for him then, to not have known how cruel life can be."

Riff stopped moving his hand and Cain looked back at him. Riff was looking at him like he was memorizing everything about Cain for safe study later. "Sir, that's the most illogical thing you've ever said."

Cain thought about this. Riff nudged his elbow and he leaned back, allowing access to his chest and stomach. "The light is fading," he said quietly. Riff began to make comforting circles over his abdomen. He could smell Riff as the manservant leaned over him. He smelled of soap from the laundry maid and something slightly alkaline and sweat. This was the right smell, what he'd been looking for in his earlier dalliance.

"The light will do what it wants, sir. It's fickle. You'll learn, like the rest of us, that when the light goes to favor something else, you carry on in the dark. It's just another game of hide and seek. You needn't worry though, because it's my life's charge to find you. You will never be left alone for so long"

Cain sighed. He didn't know what to say to that. He knew without a doubt that if he ever lost Riff he'd lose himself forever, but he couldn’t find the words in him to voice the feeling. Instead, he arched into Riff's touch until Riff abandoned the sponge altogether and began running large, warm fingers over his skin. He shivered. "It's not the amount of time alone that I'm worried about," he said finally. "It's how little time I'll have after I'm found."


End file.
